Ask your C.I.A.

The Boulderian Counter-Intuitive Agency (C.I.A.) , was founded on a simple principle: successful intelligence agencies are not given more money. Continual intelligence disasters, on the other hand, can produce nearly unlimited funding. Hence, the Counter-Intuitive Agency eschews conventional information-gathering methods, and by means of the National Crystal Ball (N.C.B.) is able, through subtle analysis of the powerful wish fields that overarch the Enchanted Kingdom like a benign, reality-deflecting dome, to actually bring internet sophisticates like you the news BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

That's right! Thanks to the C.I.A.'s intensive parsing of these fluctuating wish fields using a bank of powerful cyber-Tarot decks and hydraulically-assisted Ouija boards, you lucky few need not wait to register the pity and terror these eye-popping events will so richly deserve, once they actually happen. Being forewarned, you will be able to maintain an eerie, saint-like calm in the face of catastrophe that will amaze your friends!

NOW, NEWS FROM THE NOT-SO-DISTANT-FUTURE:

A-HAWS, or Advanced Hot Air Weapons, long thought impractical, may soon be within reach of small third-world nations and disgruntled Boulderian neighborhoods.

Click on the mystical cloud orb to read the C.I.A.'s shocking report on how the latest weapon of terror may soon become an instrument of vigilante justice!

TICK CHIC! Following the driest winter in over 20 years and the prospect of devastating wildfires, Colorado officials are faced with the problem of actually discouraging visitors to the state!

When simple requests to stay away have no effect, desperate officials are forced to turn for help to the Modest Geniuses behind Mondo Boulder to devise a new and daring kind of ad campaign.

Click on Madame O'Blivians cloud orb to learn Colorado's desperate strategy!

SONNY BARGER, author, American Legend, and founder of the Oakland chapter of the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Club, has a problem. Tensions with rival outlaw clubs like the Mongols exploded in May, '02 at the annual Laughlin River Run, leaving two Angels shot dead and threatening Sonny's new-found respectibility. Madame O'Blivian's Cloud Orb will reveal how Barger calls on a friend and fellow American Legend for help.

WEAPONS OF MASS RETAIL! Greater Boulderia has been subjected to relentless economic terrorism from the breakaway Broomfield province.

Rumors have begun circulating that a desperate Boulderia will resort to Weapons of Mass Retail in its struggle for survival in a brutal war of sales tax attrition. Fortunately, your Counter-Intuitive Agency never sleeps, nothing but a quick catnap every now and then, really.

Click on Madame O'Blivians cloud orb to witness the horror of all-out retail war!


	ASK YOUR
	The Counter-Intuitive Agency


	The Boulderian Counter-Intuitive Agency (C.I.A.) , was founded on a simple principle: successful intelligence agencies are not given more money. Continual intelligence disasters, on the other hand, can produce nearly unlimited funding. Hence, the Counter-Intuitive Agency eschews conventional information-gathering methods, and by means of the National Crystal Ball (N.C.B.) is able, through subtle analysis of the powerful wish fields that overarch the Enchanted Kingdom like a benign, reality-deflecting dome, to actually bring internet sophisticates like you the news BEFORE IT HAPPENS! That's right! Thanks to the C.I.A.'s intensive parsing of these fluctuating wish fields using a bank of powerful cyber-Tarot decks and hydraulically-assisted Ouija boards, you lucky few need not wait to register the pity and terror these eye-popping events will so richly deserve, once they actually happen. Being forewarned, you will be able to maintain an eerie, saint-like calm in the face of catastrophe that will amaze your friends! NOW, NEWS FROM THE NOT-SO-DISTANT-FUTURE: . A-HAWS, or Advanced Hot Air Weapons, long thought impractical, may soon be within reach of small third-world nations and disgruntled Boulderian neighborhoods. Click on the mystical cloud orb to read the C.I.A.'s shocking report on how the latest weapon of terror may soon become an instrument of vigilante justice! TICK CHIC! Following the driest winter in over 20 years and the prospect of devastating wildfires, Colorado officials are faced with the problem of actually discouraging visitors to the state! When simple requests to stay away have no effect, desperate officials are forced to turn for help to the Modest Geniuses behind Mondo Boulder to devise a new and daring kind of ad campaign. Click on Madame O'Blivians cloud orb to learn Colorado's desperate strategy! . SONNY BARGER, author, American Legend, and founder of the Oakland chapter of the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Club, has a problem. Tensions with rival outlaw clubs like the Mongols exploded in May, '02 at the annual Laughlin River Run, leaving two Angels shot dead and threatening Sonny's new-found respectibility. Madame O'Blivian's Cloud Orb will reveal how Barger calls on a friend and fellow American Legend for help. . WEAPONS OF MASS RETAIL! Greater Boulderia has been subjected to relentless economic terrorism from the breakaway Broomfield province. Rumors have begun circulating that a desperate Boulderia will resort to Weapons of Mass Retail in its struggle for survival in a brutal war of sales tax attrition. Fortunately, your Counter-Intuitive Agency never sleeps, nothing but a quick catnap every now and then, really. Click on Madame O'Blivians cloud orb to witness the horror of all-out retail war!
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